I was a noble, a fancy Memser, and a vision in pink and purple. I was the most flamboyant man in Tyria – really, a Mesmer in pink/purple armor, you think you can top that? – and I was gorgeous. I slicked my hair back as I admired my reflection in the mirror. No, I wasn’t going to go all cray cray and ask the mirror who the fairest of them all was because I knew in my heart that it was me. Period.
Though I was born to riches and a silver spoon – literally – in my mouth, I knew I didn’t want to become one of those fat, jolly men who bathed in gold and didn’t give a tinker’s toot to the plight of the less fortunate. Yeah sure, we were rich now and could afford all kinds of luxurious fabrics and exotic meat from the land of Tyria but we should never ever tempt Fate because the cosmic universe just loves to throw you a curveball when you least expect it. And what that happens, all you horrible human beings who’ve never known hardship will be thrown out on your asses and starve to death.
And seriously, dolyak meat? Really? What the hell is wrong with you people?